“Balanced” eating in recovery

Eating disorders are sneaky and it can be so easy to replace one set of rules with another, supposedly “healthier” set. This is why discernment during the recovery process is so critical. While there’s nothing inherently problematic with wanting to eat a balanced diet, when one has eating disorder wiring in place it can be very easy to take this desire for balance to the extreme.

To make this simple for those in recovery - your day or meal or snack does not need to be perfectly balanced. We do not want to replace the perfectionism of an ED for the perfectionism of recovery. Your body is so clever and can absolutely cope with a meal that does not have the perfect balance of macronutrients. In fact, trying to seek this perfect balance will only lead to more anxiety and preoccupation with food. It is most helpful to see food as just food, rather than breaking it down into component parts to ensure “balance”. Unfortunately there are very widely adopted ED treatment programs that perpetuate this potentially damaging view that eating should be balanced, both throughout recovery and beyond. In my experience, and the evidence from a growing body of others who have fully recovered, this is not a helpful or effective way to approach recovery from starvation.

It is very common early in recovery for your body and mind to only want highly palatable, high carbohydrate and high fat food. This is so very normal and reasonable - a starved mammal would want to renourish itself with the most energy dense foods to be efficient. More to the point, there is a high likelihood that these are the types of foods you have been mentally and physically restricting and therefore want the most. It is so important that you trust your body in this process. It truly knows best what it needs in order to nutritionally rehabilitate. You do not need to micromanage this process. Your body will cope with these changes - you will not end up with a nutrient deficiency or gain weight in the “wrong way” if you don’t have a balanced diet temporarily. In fact, the desire to micromanage your weight gain - whether that is the rate of weight gain, the type of weight or the distribution of this weight - is further evidence of your ED wanting to be in charge. Don’t fall for it. This is just another ploy by your ED, and one that is broadly socially acceptable, to stay in control. Your amazing body will gain weight at the perfect rate and type and distribution for you to function optimally. 

So let go of the idea that your eating needs to be balanced, especially in the early stages of recovery. It is likely that when you are at the end of your recovery journey you find yourself naturally gravitating towards a more balanced diet but this is not forced or micromanaged. There will be an ease and an understanding of the ebb and flow of food and the nutrition that comes with it. This is a big green flag for your recovery process. There will be days even in your recovered life where you do not eat a single fruit or vegetable, or have a balanced day of eating. The difference is that this won’t cause panic or anxiety. Instead you will trust that if you listen to your body it will eventually ask for all the variety that it has been exposed to and you simply will not have to think about it too hard. The catch here is this ONLY happens if you allow your body to do its thing, to eat all of what it wants without any judgement and rewire any need to have a balanced plate.